Push me, Pull me

The theme of playing small (versus big) keeps bubbling up for me in my gremlin thoughts.  I am trying to figure out what the deal is.  On one hand, I am judging myself for not ‘just going for it in a big way’ and on the other hand I’m recognizing that “where I am right now is JUST PERFECT”.  I feel like a push-me-pull-me horse.  Part of me likes the little slice of life I’m purring along creating, and part of me believes that bigger and better things lie out there for the “making and taking”.  So, what do I do, right now, to ease the tug?…I play!  I play with writing the “big story”.  I also play with writing the “small story”.  I sit with each and decide what best speaks to me at the moment. 

Through all of this tug-o-war, I KNOW that I am safe, that I am supported AND that everything I am doing is right because “it is what it is” and nothing more (or less).  I find comfort in making peace with “what is” first and then playing with the options for the future.  That feels less like push-me-pull-me and more like progress (even if it happens to be small).