Perchance to Dream
I had a sleeping problem (notice the “had”…my hope this remains a true statement). In the past 3 years (and probably longer), I have not had great sleep hygiene. I would sleep on the couch. I would sleep with the TV on. I would sleep on the couch, move to the bed and be wide awake until morning. That felt good to get that off of my chest.
The “problem” was that I was in resistance to my sleeping issue. I had many “shoulds” about sleeping (which I actually agree with but for some reason the story around them created a nasty cycle). The things I didn’t like were…TV on all night is a power suck, TV’s subliminal messages are bad, sleeping on the couch is unhygienic, sleeping on the couch sends the wrong message to the kids, sleeping on the couch sends the wrong message to the husband, sleeping on the couch makes for a bad night’s sleep, ‘they say’ that good sleep habits help with weight maintenance….need I go on? I could!
I do believe at some point I came into acceptance about the problem…instead of my past tendency to ‘white knuckle’ through a solution and beat myself up when it didn’t quite work out.
For about a month now, I have not had this problem….it was close the other day…but I nipped it in the bud. Whew! So, what has changed for me?
- I had a change in pattern when we traveled where I didn’t feel comfortable sleeping on someone else’s couch.
- I had a change in pattern in which I was timezone challenged so I wanted to go to bed at reasonable times.
- I have been having healthy green smoothie drinks (with spinach and other good for you stuff).
- I have increased my fitness level a bit (not a lot though).
- I have been trying to have a regular schedule where I get done what I say I want to accomplish (in chunks of 3) every day. AND I reward myself for it.
- I don’t watch TV as much any more (Oprah is creating a challenge for me as she is creating even more inspiring things for me to watch on OWN…drat).
- I bought a new pillow that I adore!
I think over time I was creating a bigger desire for change than I realized, and it came from a pure “essential self” perspective (a Martha Beck term for intrinsic/intuitive desire) versus my past “social self” ones (all my shoulds and stories about how bad it was).
So…what is the result of this almost organic change?
- I am not tired during the day.
- I don’t have all the nasty stories in my head…I have super proud stories now.
- I feel like I get more done.
- I think I might be eating less (but that could also be a New Year kinda’ thing).
- I wake up next to my awesome husband every morning.
- I read more (because I go to bed with a book to wind down).
- I have had some AWESOME DREAMS.
Dreams are like magic in the Martha Beck tribe. We love to examine them and see the deeper meaning they have. I have a folder full of documented dreams that I am excited to piece apart one by one. I think now that I have my pillow to look forward to and the enticement of a chance to dream….I think I just might have a sleeping habit! I like to sleep in my bed now!
Speaking of magic….I am facilitating an experiential book review of Martha Beck’s new book Finding Your Way in a Wild New World starting January 16….check it out and sign up. This book has been inspiring me on a daily basis since I got it on the book launch date, December 27, 2011. I’m excited to share the experience with others!