Tolerations

On one of my may ‘end-of-year-wrap-up and New Year planning’ processes, I was prompted to answer the following question:

What are you tolerating that you want to release

I cannot remember all that I wrote but I recall the following tolerations: my relationship with receiving money, my feeling of isolation, my inability to decide about my career.   Those are probably the big ones.  Those big ones will inform my DECISIONS for 2014.

BUT, I don’t wan to talk about those in this post.

What I want to talk about is more of an ‘unswerving’ toleration at the moment:  THE WEATHER.  I have a new relationship with bad weather.  I used to be able to minimize my contact with dreary or blistering weather.  Now that I own a puppy, there is no avoiding it. The beginning of 2014 held a snowstorm, a polar vortex and torrential rains.  I had to gear up (physically and emotionally) for each system and power through my walks with the dog (and the cleanup after).  The summer weather holds its own unique tolerations.

I would love to say it is possible to become “Buddha-like” with this ‘chore’ but I am finding it hard to do.  I have small insights into that ‘zen-like’ state, but it is short-lived and inconsistent.  So, at the moment my belief is that I must tolerate this bad weather and every ‘bad weather’ that comes after this.  So, as I am oft to do, I am going to attempt to provide some wiggle room to release the ‘trapped’ feeling.  My best access to peace is to brainstorm a list of possible solutions…so here goes:

1. Try not walking him and do inside ‘play’. (I have a belief that won’t be enough and his behavior will drive me batty)
2. Share the ‘wealth’ with the kids (my mind says, the pain of their protest outweighs the walk itself)
3. Take shorter walks (feeling a little better but still feels ‘meh’ because it may even feel worse to think about the extra gear up and wipe-down)
4. Set up a “no dog zone” system where I get to have days/time off from the dog after extreme weather conditions.  (feels very good…must remember to negotiate this with family)
5. Reward myself generously after every ‘dreary’ walk (YES!  This will help me have something to look forward to as I am on my walk)
6. Finally…in terms of growth and expansion, spend time on walk contemplating what is great about my life and open to the perspective that this is very “little” in terms of the big picture of my life.  (definitely a gift to myself to see it that way)

I do have a little relief now.  Some of the good ideas will be piloted in the near future.  This process is similar to a tool I use with clients called the 4 Bs (Bag, Better, Barter, Batch) where we explore ways to make the toleration better OR release it all together.

I can feel more juicy work with my list of tolerations stated earlier in this post (not weather related).  Wouldn’t it be so cool if this time next year I can have a totally different list of tolerations to work through.  I would feel accomplished.

I do not believe at this point that I will  ever be ‘toleration-free’; but I can see progress on old ‘stories’.  I kind of think that is part of the journey.  I have grown more and more copacetic with this ‘truth’ as I get older and as I continue to grow and learn.