Searching for connection

I have been at my computer for over an hour searching for something interesting to read or someone to connect with.  I’m not feeling successful with my search but I cannot seem to leave my perch.  I thought writing might help but every topic has felt like a no (I feel it in my throat and gut). 

My word for the year is ‘connection’ (or some variation of that word) and at this moment I would say I am not ‘tapped into’ that word.  It isn’t feeling like a big deal, but it is peaking my curiosity about why I am searching and why I won’t let go of the search (in this moment). 

I do know that if I leave my computer I have family members watching a movie I don’t want to see, a house that needs tidying for a party tomorrow, and books that can be read but not ‘feeling it’.  So, as I’ve just blathered on about my situation, I KNOW that I am bored…and boredom is one of my feeling states that leads to incessant internet activity.

I can’t say that I will leave the computer once I’ve ended this post.  I feel as though I am in a vortex…and am not choosing to get out, yet.  Of course, bed sounds kind of nice.  Maybe.

 

 

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