Everywhere Are Signs

Today I got this message in my fortune cookie! 

I was elated to see that my efforts are going to pay off and soon!  Then, I laughed at myself.  Do I REALLY need a fortune cookie to know and believe that my efforts will pay off?  No, but it is fun to be reminded through this playful messenger.

I am reminded of a recent conversation I had with a client.  She wanted to leave her job and create a career that fit more with her desires, strengths and values.  Her boss was toxic, demanding and the work was way below her talent and skills, but the need for money and the lack of another alternative were keeping her stuck.  Throughout our coaching engagement we worked on both the practical parts of career change and also the inside/spiritual/woo-woo parts.  It was a dance and there were many advances and many retreats but all in all the intention was in the right direction.  FINALLY, she found the courage to quit even when nothing was officially set up on the other side.  I don’t always encourage this path, but we had worked on understanding the true financial situation and also realized that the work circumstances and the psychological toll were thwarting her attempts to find her next fabulous gig. 

As we were celebrating this decision, she admitted that she was always looking for “signs” for what the right decision would be.  In the end, she felt that not many signs showed up to lead her to the best decision.  That statement:  “I was looking for signs”…is such a curious one because at the end of the day, we do wish we could have the answers to our issues written in sky writing and in ads seemingly tailor-made for us in the newspaper. 

I believe it really is possible sometimes to have an answer fall in our lap (in a newspaper article), or on our head (as in a book from a shelf), or in our ears (via a song or conversation); but I don’t think that is the full picture of how it works.  I think the journey involves us aligning with the core essence of what we desire (peace, fulfillment, connection, freedom etc) before the signs can make themselves known.  In essence you have to know what to ask and look for before the signs can show up in your awareness.  I’ll be bold enough to say that the signs ARE everywhere (always) but you can’t see them if your focus is on what you don’t want.

Unfortunately, when we are in deeply disturbing situation, the ability to think of desires can be elusive and steeped in psychological dissonance.  The only desire in that state is usually “NOT THIS”,  Sadly that focus will give you more of what you don’t want because that is where your attention lies: in the “not this”.  So, when a clear-headed moment arises, ask “if not this, then what?”.  The more times you can open up to the question “what do I really want?” and drill down to the essence of your desire, the more clarity and relief you’ll experience which will put you in the frame of mind to SEE the positive signs that are around (everywhere) to guide you. 

To be honest, a lot of the signs are actually in the form of feelings and they can best be explained by the “hot and cold” game of our youth.  Basically, if you feel bad about something you are getting colder (further from what you want) and if you feel good about something you’re getting warmer (closer to what you want).  It takes being present with your body and feelings to connect with those signs.  I think it is brilliant that we’ve been designed to be able to access the answers with our own bodies…how cool is that? We have a compass with us always if we’re willing to tune in and listen. 

I see the types of signs we get from songs, words, and people are part of the warmer/colder game as well…but I think of them more as “winks from God/Universe”. 

My fortune cookie message today is a God-wink!  That makes me smile and I feel grateful!

Notice Abundance

Sometimes when I’m feeling stuck or in ‘lack thinking’…I notice abundance.  At first it starts simply; with things like air, leaves, blueberries, tv channels, dog hair (joking but true)…and then I try to expand and make the list more and more interesting. 

This practice has many valuable consequences…but in its most simplest form, I am distracted from my lack thinking, I am curious about how long I can make my list and I am left feeling way more resourceful than I started. 

 

Finances = Romantic

Today I told my husband that for our 19th Anniversary (next week), I would like to have a series of detailed discussions about our finances and consider setting a budget for our family.  How’s that for a smoking hot gift.  I actually think this gift WILL be pretty darn connecting for the two of us.  We’ve got a mostly healthy perspective toward our financial situation however, for a good chunk of our married life, I’ve deferred the financial decisions to my husband. 

I trust him implicitly and I outsourced the ‘confusing-to-me’ financial part of our relationship.  I’ve often called it a “father/daughter” relationship with our money.  In the past 5 or so years, I’ve decided that I intend to change that perspective.  It has been a gradual process for me and each year I get a little more clarity and inspiration to see what our money really looks like.  I know that I am not 100% where I want to be with my relationship with our money…so this year, I’m stepping up my game and I’m willing to dig deeper, see things differently, ask good questions and perhaps really know what our situation is. 

What if this ‘not-so-romantic’ gift turns out to be relationship enhancing beyond what I can see now.  Wouldn’t that be cool!  So my very next steps are to look at the numbers in all of our accounts…really the very very next steps are to ask for the passwords for our accounts.  Baby steps…one day at a time.  To prosperity AND BEYOND!

Rising

I have two kids.  They are both ‘rising’ into the next phase of their education; middle school and high school.  The house is filled with anticipatory energy and a little ‘first day’ nerves.  I have done my annual pre-September nesting where most all the closets and piles have been purged.  It feels like a fresh start all around.

Next up, practicing being present with the kids as they navigate a world that I will have less and less influence in what they are doing/seeing/hearing/knowing.  It is all good stuff and all a little unnerving from parental perspective.

I am blessed with 2 great kids, a husband of 19 years (as of next Tuesday) and a home that we are pleased to call our own…and a puppy that keeps us busy.  I know that I am loved and supported beyond measure and that makes this ‘rising’ another great adventure for our family

The rising starts way too early – 5:30 am wake up call for the Freshman – YOWZA!

A Pespective on Work

Today is my first 4th of July that I’ve had “off” in 13 years. 

What I mean by that is that for the past 13 years I was not working in an employee/employer role.  I was doing my own working gigs and also playing the role of stay-at-home caregiver. 

Today, I have the “day off” from my part-time gig I attracted in late February (I still love it!).  It is funny because as I have this day off, I am compelled to sit down and “work” (otherwise known as play for me).  I want to continue to expand my coaching and photography passions and one way is to continue my training and another is to continue to explore my own thoughts and beliefs through writing. 

So, here I sit on my “day off” sitting in my office, writing and doing homework.  Some might see it as work.  I see it as a scrumptious use of my time. 

It is all a matter of perspective and alignment. 

Do what feels good is all that is required for a life that feels like work and play are actually synonymous.  Sometimes it is a practice-makes-perfect kind of alignment.  I believe whole heartedly that if you intend to see/feel that work and play are synonymous they will be…and I also believe that it doesn’t take a whole lot of time to get there. 

My favorite question is “What feels most like play today?”…today play/work feels like what I am doing right now in my office. 

Back On Track

The events of the past few days have left me feeling quite full, but not quite capable of adding writing to my day. 

I love to write and to reflect and to explore and to “elevate the ordinary” (my personal writing style).

I also like to relax and to “just be”, sometimes. 

I did that this weekend, and now I see more writing in my future.  I’m psychic like that!

Dual Purpose

The internet can have two opposing purposes for me.

Some days it is a mood lifter, inspirer, connector, and laugh creator.

Some days it is an escape, an addiction, a time waster and a black hole.

Today, I am happy to report that the former is the result of my time there. 

I intend to reduce my interaction with the latter. 

Here’s to awareness!

Growth Happens

Today I had a beautiful human experience.

I experienced emotions that ranged from disappointment, loneliness, helplessness and sadness.  This all happened within an hour over a personal challenge I’ve had around worthiness. 

What I love, is that I was willing to be present with the feelings. I was willing to be vulnerable. I was willing to gain perspective.  And, I am willing to believe by doing this, I am expanding the possibility that I will move beyond this issue.  I am inclined to own the statement “Growth Happens”.

Join Up

I had the great opportunity to go to a leadership workshop that involved horses.  I have known of this concept for about 5 years and the time finally came for me to participate. 

One portion of the day we were to have the horse do what we intended for it to do, using only our energy and very simple movements.  The elements that invite a horse to follow your lead are:  grounding, congruity of feelings and thoughts, connection, and non attachment to the outcome. 

My intention was to have the horse walk beside me around the pen.  I struggled at first to connect with the feeling state I would need to attract him to join me in my walk.  With some coaching and a few tries, I achieved my goal.  What finally got the horse to ‘join up’ was a giddy/fun feeling…and a little giggle inside: she immediately walked over and joined me around the pen.  I enjoyed every minute.  As I was walking, the coach asked me how I felt.  What happened next was my key learning point..to answer the question, I went from feeling to thinking and…the horse stopped, and my connection with her was dropped. 

The dropped connection with the horse was my point of awareness and has a lot of meaning in many areas of my life.  HOW COOL? That simple walk around the round pen had many layers of meaning and a lot for me to process. 

I am left with the question:  how do I remain in the aligned feeling-state energy which allows people, events, nature and things to ‘join up’ with me (an equine coaching term) .  What I believe is that an aligned feeling-state equals leader energy which allows the Universe to join-up and follow my lead/intentions/desires. 

I am ready to find the answer…and I know it will ‘join up’ with me.  Beautiful!

NOTE:  If you’re interested in Equus Coaching, these are the two facilitators from my workshop Renee Sievert and Dixie St. John.  I also had excellent coaching by workshop organizer, executive coach Michele Woodward.

Priorities

My priority this weekend is connection.  I am having a full weekend seeing long time friends, new neighborhood friends, friends who are moving away…and friends who will forever be a part of my life but are not always here with me physically.

All is what is meant to be and I love every minute of it.