Autopilot

It might be the full moon and it might be just plain ole being human, but today I was in a funk.  There were loads of moments in my day where I could have given in and given up…but I didn’t. 

I got my kids off to school alive (always a bit check mark on my to do list).  I went to the gym (an easy one to take OFF my list).  Additionally, I got several significant ‘no fun’ items done.  On top of all that, I reduced the Mount Ranier sized pile of laundry to a hill. 

I am not writing this to stroke my ego; I’m writing this in a bit of shock and awe.  I really don’t know how I got from here to there in terms of my motivation and drive to get things done, despite the desire to crawl in bed for the full day.  In fact, I did crawl in bed for a 20 minute nap and still was able to get up and contribute today. 

My hunch is that my normal ‘trick-myself-into-doing-things’ was on autopilot today and I was able to set small goals to get a little done which then lead to more than expected getting accomplished.

I am excited to see that it just might be possible to have habits become so fluid that you don’t have to do the pep talks and pats on backs after a while.  Another possibility is that the full moon actually HELPED me take action even in my depleted energy.  That possibility is fine with me too…because I like looking at the check marks on my list (the list remained in my head today – I couldn’t be bothered to write it down).

I am not a Wrangler

This past week I decided to “own” something about myself.  I am not meant to be a “child wrangler”.  More specifically, I am not meant to be involved in the ‘business’ of helping out in the kids’ school in a capacity that involves managing students in their school activities.  I do not enjoy it.  I get grumpy when kids are not following the rules (aka ‘kids being kids’).  I have always been a ‘rule follower’ so it grates on my nerves and I cannot untangle from that feeling, so then I am a ‘bitter’ helper.

In the past I’ve held an erroneous belief that I “should” want to be working with the kids at school because I love kids.  That is not the case.  I still love kids and I hold a belief that children should thrive and be happy in school (and in life); however, in a capacity of ‘organizing kids’, I am not a happy camper.  I could have seen this ‘lightbulb’ way back in 2006 when I spent half a year as a preschool teacher to 3 year olds.  That should have been my ‘clue’; I wasn’t having fun and I began to dread it.  Hence, I am no longer a preschool teacher.

So, here is my lesson.  I get to acknowledge that I am a hugely valuable resource to the kids.  I know this to my core.  I am an active volunteer in the school for the teachers and the PTA.  I have abundant gifts that I share like organizing projects, creating effective communication systems, and supporting school-wide endeavors from a project management and implementation perspective.  AND, my time is better spent in those activities than ‘child wrangling’.  There are amazing people who find it rewarding and fun to work in that capacity; not me!  So, I intend to say NO to activities that do not speak to my desires, and say yes to ones that do.  I get to decide how I show up in my life and I KNOW that I am valuable in what I do. 

So, I ask you….what is your Child-Wrangler story?  What have you believed that you ‘should love or should do’ because that is what ‘people do’, or ‘moms do’, or ‘women/men do’ or even ‘entrepreneurs’ do?’  What can you OWN as your value and what can you say “that is not for me, but I can do (fill in the blank) that also serves the greater good”?

What if saying yes to what feels good and no to what doesn’t is all it will take for you to feel as if you are having a ROCKIN’ life?  What if the more you own what feels good and what doesn’t, the more ‘feel good’ things come your way?  I am going to look at my “should do’s” with more of an open perspective of….

“I am NOT willing to do X, but I AM willing to do Y”…thankyouverymuch!

Five Squared

This morning a fun little exercise came to me….popped right into my head.  It is a solution to a current motivation problem I have.  I feel that some days I think of all the things I “need to do” and overwhelm happens.  Then the time zappers come; Facebook checks, refrigerator checks, email checks and back round again.  Before I know it, I have done not much of anything (or so I tell myself).  I am pretty sure I am not giving myself credit for what I really do accomplish….and for some reason it still ‘isn’t enough’. 

My “exercise” is based on the thought “What if I set goals that are meaningful AND manageable and if achievement of those goals determine whether I’ve been successful or not?”. 

Soooooo….For the next 25 days I will attempt this little ‘5×5 Exercise’….if you didn’t notice by the way, 5×5=25 (genius right?).  Here are the list of 5 things I will do 5 of…and if I accomplish each of these 5 things, my day will be a success AND if I do it for 25 days (accommodating for holiday travel), the MONTH is a success!  

1. 5 “to dos” (related to either running my life and/or business)
2. 5 minutes of meditating
3. 5 glasses of water
4. 5 chores…5 minutes a piece
5. 5 media checks (can check email/Facebook five times in the day)

Bonus –  I would like to exercise 5 times a week!

If you know me at all, you’ll know that this isn’t my first “challenge”- see here, here and here..  I like challenges…and I like what they do for me. 

Just for kicks –  Here’s to the number 5 means….numerologically speaking

The number five is all about changes.  The changes can be from good to bad or vice versa.  On the positive side, it is associated with new and visionary ideas, quick thinking, expansiveness, daring, versatility, action, curiosity, exploration, promotion, and freedom.  Negatively, the number is also associated with restlessness, edginess, dissatisfaction, hasty decisions, discontent, impatience, and boredom.

My Life Book

Yesterday morning I woke up with this question in my head:  “What if I show up as myself sharing my quirky observations, inspiring people with my photography, and sharing my insights and learnings with others?”  During this same morning musing I thought, “Maybe if I do all that, people will say “I’ll have what she’s having”…and that is all the marketing I need to do.  If I show up as me, and I share my “me” with others, then I will be successful.” Then I found this quote in my inbox and it feels like a “yes” to my insights (I love when messages synch with my personal insights)

The qualities that capture positive attention these days aren’t slickness, blandness, and mass consensus (boring), but authenticity, inventiveness, humor, beauty, uniqueness, playfulness, empathy, and meaning (interesting).
—Martha Beck, Finding Your Way In A Wild New World

I know that this isn’t some amazing ‘a-ha’ but it feels like I’m leaning more and more into believing the above than listening to the “7 Steps to Creating a Successful Business” which I sometimes run to in times of uncertainty.  If I had to write my own personal “7 Steps” they would be:

1)      Believe you are worthy (if you don’t believe that find a compassionate person/coach to help change that….or try therapy if that feels right)

2)      Find out what brings you the most joy and contentment/peace (be a treasure hunter of your desires)

3)      Do #2 whenever possible

4)      Notice when you aren’t doing #2 and clean up your thinking/work with a coach/share with a compassionate friend

5)      Magnetize yourself to people who ‘get it” or “get you”

6)      Show up as authentically as you can every day….and notice when you’re not and go back to #4

7)      Always, always, always go with the person/place/thing/idea that feels most like FUN!

Then VOILA things will happen that will serve your life’s purpose and/or at least you’ll be having FUN with people you enjoy!   Both are what life SHOULD BE about ….in my Life Book!

A Question is Everything

I am a curious cat; I love to ask questions. 

I am a life coach;  I know how to ask questions. 

I am a searcher of meaning in my life; I get great joy in posing the big open-ended questions. 

I know the power of questions…..

However, just recently I can say that…I FINALLY GET IT!

I get that the POWER of the question is actually in the space between the ASK and the ANSWER.  What if, we approached everything from a questioning mind verses an answer finding mind?  What if all it takes is for us to ask questions and either wait in that moment for the answer to arrive OR to just let the question filter into the atmosphere to be answered in the right time and in the right place with the right people and the right information for YOU?

I have to say that I often take a consultative approach with my life and other people with whom I connect.  I look at the variables that are on the table and form a  big picture of what the possibilities might be – almost like a puzzle.  I feel I have an intuitive ability to see the possibilities…but what if….what if…all it really takes is the questions?  I wonder what that would look like?  Part of me gets an anxious feeling that my ‘puzzle-solving’ skills will be jeopardized….but what if my puzzle-solving is actually more of a default to “control” and “feel safe”?  What if all it takes is to ALLOW the answers to come? 

So many questions AND so much time…..I love every minute of it. 

The best question I’ve heard recently from www.sophiemihalko.com is…..

How can it get EVEN BETTER than this?

Coeur de rire

Translation:  Laughing Heart

My Facebook post from 9/11/11 read – “…the world needs more laughing hearts”.  When I wrote that I had a sense of knowing that this has something to do with ME and my purpose in life.  I’m curious to explore where this has already manifested for me and where it will take me.  For the time being, I have tucked the idea and the rich palpable feeling in a metaphorical bubble near my heart.  I have the intention that MY laughing heart will attract the people and experiences to help me inspire others to live from a ‘laughing heart’ perspective. 

In retrospect, I realize that I have recently been photographing hearts in many everyday things like trees, clouds, rocks, and spontaneous lotion hearts squeezed in a hand.  As I was looking for the French translation (coeur de rire), I found this beautiful poem. 

The Laughing Heart by Charles Bukowski

your life is your life
don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission.
be on the watch.
there are ways out.
there is a light somewhere.
it may not be much light but
it beats the darkness.
be on the watch.
the gods will offer you chances.
know them.
take them.
you can’t beat death but
you can beat death in life, sometimes.
and the more often you learn to do it,
the more light there will be.
your life is your life.
know it while you have it.
you are marvelous
the gods wait to delight
in you.

— by Charles Bukowski

Nature calls

Lately, I’ve been called to nature.  I went camping last weekend, and this weekend, went on a nature hike with my son.  In the recent past I have avoided nature a bit.  I’ve in fact stashed myself away in my office “working” and “connecting” (both are ‘air quotes’ because both aren’t 100% true).  Now that I’ve started to reconnect with nature, and working it into my creative endeavors (photographing and leading sessions) I feel so much more authentically motivated to be mindful of myself, my surroundings and my interactions with people AND nature.  I am noticing more.  I am watching more.  I feel like I am reintegrating with the life I find so worth living.  Here are my observations from the most recent nature ventures:

• The smell of roses is absolutely my favorite smell
• The sound of the earth under my feet in the woods sounds like my childhood.
• The shadow of a flying heron is both impressive and haunting.
• The whoosh of an Eagle to catch a fish is a stunning sight.
• The sound of coyotes in the early morning is a curious call.
• Hummingbirds buzzing by my head make me feel connected.
• Butterflies flitting by me, remind me that there is abundance in this life.
• A green bug perching on my arm hair brings creative stories to my mind.
• The sight of a cloudless sky brings a huge expansive feeling in my chest.
• The rush of the rapids from snow melts is powerful beyond measure.
• The taste of strawberries picked from the ground is way better than candy.
• New flowers blooming every day make me think of hidden secrets waiting to be revealed.

I could go on and on.  I am so happy to be out and noticing with all of my senses, the amazing and awe-inspiring nature that abounds….I am reminded again and again, that if I step out, I am never-ever disappointed…I just have to remember to step out.

 

 

Where are you?

Where are you my “drive”?

I seem to have lost you.

I see you in spits and spurts…

but, I think you’ve moved to the passenger seat.

I seem to resist you not being here.

I seem to be unwilling to be okay with you in the passenger seat.

What would it mean to be okay with a lack of drive?

It would mean I get to do nothing or something whenever I feel like it.

It would mean I trust that it will come when I need it.

It would mean that some days I am in full throttle…

and some days I am in idle…

and some I am on cruise control.

What is wrong with that?

I don’t know?

Somehow I’ve been believing that it isn’t right.

I am choosing for this moment to believe that it is quite all right…

and, in fact, necessary to replenish my systems for my next full throttle experience.

I like that thought.

Now what?

Now, I ….now, I….now, I… sit and wait for a whisper of what to do next.

I’m listening!

Green

Among my tribe of Martha Beck coaches, there is a ritual that has been handed down by one of my teachers/mentor Pam Slim.  It comes from a Native American practice where you light a green candle on a day that has “8” in it.  Today is February 28th…so I’ve got my candle lit.  The intention is to wish prosperity and abundance for oneself and for all.  I cannot say I always remember to do it; but when I do I have such a sense of peace about me.  Today’s prosperity prayer has such an interesting meaning to me because in the past two weeks I’ve committed to taking a harder look at my money beliefs and my journey to “financial sovereignty” (a term I learned from my other teacher/mentor Michele Woodward).  This weekend I a) made a big financial decision for myself and chose to tell my husband versus ask (an old habit) b) I sat down with my husband (over a yummy meal) to discuss my goals toward building a different and healthier relationship with our money and to talk goals for ourselves.  Since I’ve lit my candle, I’ve paid out the big financial investment (from (a) above) and I’ve also noticed that I see money everywhere at the moment…a dime in my car, $5 that belongs to my kids, a balance in my Paypal account, a discount for a program I’m starting.  This flow of abundance both in and out feels very very “rich” and healthy and kind and loving.  That is the relationship I am building with money.  I feel as if I’m beginning (actually restarting) my journey to financial sovereignty from a space of openness, excitement, clarity (ish), and desire.  That feels really really good.  So…today on our green candle day, I wish you peace, prosperity and abundance, it is our right!

Hone

Yesterday my amazingly intuitive and creative coach and friend Beverly prompted me to visualize a concept that had been popping up all day for me.  She had me ask “it” what it wants to tell me.  The one thing that came to my mind was the word “hone”. 

 

My intuitive and trusting self would leave it at that and see what comes about around the word hone, but my “curious cat” self feels like investigating and ruminating. 

 

So here is my “curious cat” process.  The definition of hone (as a verb) is to sharpen with a HONE (a fine-grained whetstone).  That isn’t very helpful, but the second definition ‘to make perfect or complete’ has a little more meaning.  YIKES, I’m not a big fan of either perfect or complete.  I am into wabi sabi these days, but I get the point of it, it is to fine-tune and perhaps even focus.  At least that is how I’ve often used the word hone; as in “to hone in on something”. 

 

My left brain analysis of why hone came into my brain is that perhaps I’m ready to ‘hone in on’ a niche with my business.  Or am I meant to ‘hone’ my cleaning skills? (nope that doesn’t feel right).  I have noticed that I’ve attracted a certain type of client recently, I’ve also noticed my coaching style shifting a bit, I can see that I am finding where I feel excited and engaged as I coach my clients so…that sounds like honing to me. 

 

The concept that I was encouraged to visualize was this:  I “ran” into Ghost CEO , three times in the matter of a day, in three very different venues.  It was as if it was trying to get my attention.  I’ve been associated with them in the past year so it isn’t out of the “blue” but it is fascinating to me that in one day, in three different arenas, I’ve been exposed to the business.  My curiosity was piqued and my thoughts were a) am I meant to share it with a particular client? or b) am I meant to consider it for myself?  I’m leaving it up to the Universe to send more signs, but I’ve decided to ‘knock’ on both doors (a & b) and wait to see what comes of it. 

 

As for “hone” I am excited to see what transpires.  What keeps popping up for you?  Have you asked it what it is trying to tell you?  I’ve had fun with this: consider trying it for yourself, let me know the answers you get!